Waiting for selflessness

When at work, I try to do my best for people. Fairness is my game. I treat people with respect and id hope people understand that id rather take on all the burden so that no one else has to. 
Of course I don’t want to, you’d have to be crazy to want to, but it’s kind of like a leap of faith and an interesting way to see if people will respect you enough to offer to share the burden with you. 
My “second in command” is a bit selfish in my opinion. I get a lot of complaints about his laziness and I see that he is uninterested in others and supporting a positive working environment. But it’s good to have faith in people right? 

There’s having faith in someone, and then theirs blind faith…

Essentially, cutting to the chase of it. He is moving to another store and is in limbo for 2 months to twiddle his thumbs however he pleases until this store opens. So when I make it perfectly clear that we could use his support due to understaffing, I’d expect a good natured person to offer to help. Totally flabbergasted when he basically says no.
So here we go. I try to take it all on myself, rotas myself in for the next 14 days straight cause I wouldn’t expect anyone to lose a day off their entitled to. 
I’d really shakes my faith in people when a person is really struggling and they can choose to ignore and carry on planning to do nothing but sip tea and play candy crush for two months.
I hope he never has to read this, but at the same time, I hope he realises that he has completely failed as a human being in my books. 
Is it natural to feel that when the shoe is on the other foot, karma would be a bitch?
Who am I kidding? If I’m crazy enough to take on all the workload for the sake of everyone else, I’d probably do it in a heartbeat.
At least if I did, I’d walk away knowing that Im a better person than him… Or am I just gullible?


Be Kind.

The end of a very overwhelming 2 weeks for me at work. And the fun(?) Is just beginning.
I’ve basically had a wonderful person at my store training to be a team leader for her brand new site in Coventry. It’s the first time I’ve had someone at the store for this type of thing and I feel like being trusted to prepare someone for their management career is a big responsibility.
I’m proud to say I gave it my full attention and it paid off, however I’ve probably left myself way behind on my own work hense the previous post…
I feel like I’ve put myself at risk in some ways, but getting messages of appreciation made it worth while. I have to say though, as much as I appreciate the messages, for some reason my mind won’t let me process it and I almost feel like I’m mentally rejecting the idea of it going well.
I think the last year in work I’ve kind of accepted that no matter how positive you try to make your impact, there’s always something you could do better, so it’s hard to take the positive and far too easy to dwell on what could have been done differently.
On realising this, I thought maybe writing this would help. By writing down it’s been successful and reading it back later might help me accept that something good came from a good intention. And I should allow myself to feel proud of that.
I feel like it’s important to say that I’m not a dark twisted individual, I’d maybe say I’m more a realist! Its easier to focus on the negative and takes alot for a person to mention a positive. I think it’s just part on the human condition.
It may use less muscles to smile, but gravity makes a frown way more comfortable!!! 🙂

That Art of Bring Genuine.

We’ve all encountered it. That person that seems to have many faces and you’re not sure which is the real one. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out if someone is being genuine or showing you one side of a coin. 
When i meet people, 99% of the time I will take them at face value. I’m very giving of trust and would like to expect the same from others. But this does come at a cost.
I would like to consider myself an open, honest person. There isn’t alot to know about me, but what you do know, is all of it. No secrets, no hidden agenda. My motto, treat people how you would like to be treat yourself.
By putting myself in this position though, I’m pretty much running the risk of probably being really hurt or feeling betrayed, this vulnerable position can prompt some pretty dramatic responses at first, but that’s me, who I am, I have this kinda instant friend policy going on. 
So why is it people choose to with hold themselves?

My opinion is nothing really sinister, people learn and grow in different ways. Maybe people with hold these things to prevent themselves from being vulnerable. Maybe they lack confidence? 
For now I’ll keep trying to be understanding of this, but I’m unwavering in my stance. Be it to my own demise, you meet me, I’ll give you my trust. Just prove me right by proving your trust worthy ok? 


Work Life and Drawing the Line…

I find in this modern age of technology and contactibility, our culture has limited our sense of freedom. Work used to be a 9 till 5 experience, once finishing time came, you walked free of ties and were able to create clear distinctions and boundaries between work and home life. Fast forward to 2017, and our insatiable need to be as contactable as possible has created a leash around our necks. Where lines once were drawn, tethers and ties limit our freedom from drawing that line. In my line of work, I can sit at home and be constantly be harassed with endless forms off communication from work.

How can a person truly cleanse themselves of the pressures and stresses of work, when modern day work comes with this unwritten, yet inescapable expectation of maintaining a constantly open line of communication?

A view I can foresee before the publish button is even pressed is “why don’t you just mute the notifications?” and I can see that view has a point. However, regardless of whether we do this or not, the implied pressure of being part of this open line creates a new sense of anxiety and stress. Questions like “what if I miss out on something important?” “What if its serious?” “what if I’m expected to read this?” start to plague the mind. So I ask, What’s worse? leaving the line open, or the worry of closing that line? I’m sure I’ll never know, the lesser of two evils still results in consequence..