That Art of Bring Genuine.

We’ve all encountered it. That person that seems to have many faces and you’re not sure which is the real one. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out if someone is being genuine or showing you one side of a coin. 
When i meet people, 99% of the time I will take them at face value. I’m very giving of trust and would like to expect the same from others. But this does come at a cost.
I would like to consider myself an open, honest person. There isn’t alot to know about me, but what you do know, is all of it. No secrets, no hidden agenda. My motto, treat people how you would like to be treat yourself.
By putting myself in this position though, I’m pretty much running the risk of probably being really hurt or feeling betrayed, this vulnerable position can prompt some pretty dramatic responses at first, but that’s me, who I am, I have this kinda instant friend policy going on. 
So why is it people choose to with hold themselves?


My opinion is nothing really sinister, people learn and grow in different ways. Maybe people with hold these things to prevent themselves from being vulnerable. Maybe they lack confidence? 
For now I’ll keep trying to be understanding of this, but I’m unwavering in my stance. Be it to my own demise, you meet me, I’ll give you my trust. Just prove me right by proving your trust worthy ok? 

K

Do Friends Really Last Forever?

Part of growing up is realising that change is inevitable. Being a child in school blissfully unaware of life’s responsibilities, it’s easy to think that your a being out of time.

“school will last forever”

“My friends are everything to me”

And as we move into adult life, we are really pushed beyond our comfort zone, suddenly this pressure to be self sustained an be pretty hard to digest because we have been protected from this reality.

Time goes by and you begin to meet new people, old friends start to fade and you realise some of these relationships you’ve formed have been a symptom of ease through surviving an environment together.

But can these Relationships really last?

In my previous post “Is it OK to be Single?” I pretty much covered that I was the type of guy who led with heart rather than head, so this lesson was a pretty tough one to learn for me…

throughout education, its easy to make friends, I was lucky enough to retain some friends from School and make many more in college. Throughout all by romance drama, I fell pretty reliant on friends and found after a while I almost began to live my life vicariously through them. It wasn’t a case of making plans together, it turned into “I have plans, you want to tag along?”

This didn’t really make much of a difference to me, I was still going out and having a great time and getting out to see people, so I carried on life this for a number of years.

Now Here’s the Tricky Part..

Where this became a problem and I had my moment of clarity, was when these people started to pair off and have kids, their priorities and responsibilities changed. Being someone completely happy to go with the flow of everyone else’s life, this was a pretty tough experience. The slight shifts in priorities I found pretty cutting as I started to realise I was walking outside the boundaries of my own existence.

The lesson I leant (and am still learning to this day!) Is that you have to live for yourself. Your priority is YOU. It can be hard being a single person making decisions that can sometimes be isolating but its a journey we all have to take. I realised if I carried on, I’d realise years down the road that I had nothing to show for my life. I was no ones ‘number one’ and the priority I gave everyone around me wasn’t reciprocated.

This is a life lesson I’m still trying to navigate. I’m really happy to be able to say I do have friends who have been with me since the beginning of School. But my flexing of personality style from emotional to Logical is something that isn’t natural to me, so at times I find I’m re-learning lessons that were tough to digest.

K

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Is it OK to be Single?

Why I’m here/Drawing the Line

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Is it OK to be Single?

Is being single acceptable in modern day society?

In life, the people you meet are raised with certain expectations. Marriage, babies, happy families, we all have this programmed into us.

Whether it’s in the movies we watch, the people we know, there are many factors that contribute to this…

As a single mid twenties individual I’ve experienced many things. Love, loss, these all come part an parcel in a person’s existence. I’m not special, rather the opposite, so what makes me different to others? Dammed if i know.

Now, the question all single people loathe to hear, but is probably the most loaded innocent question one can ask.

So.. hows the love life going? You met anyone yet??

Although this question can be the bane of a person’s existence, it’s an inevitability that we are sure to face.

Throughout my life, I’ve made choices. Some bad, some good (haven’t we all?). One of these I made was to remain single.

After a string of relationships, i decided I’d had enough. It started when i met what I thought was the first and the last love I’d meet.

Naturally, as with first loves, these are more than likely to result in a breakup, but hey-ho what can I say? I led with my heart and not my head.

After this, I found no issue with finding new partners and moving on at face value. However, this initial infatuation with my Disney style “prince charming” became a factor that always resulted in disaster. I would meet someone new, the original would turn back up after being bored of being let off the leash and I would convince myself that this time it would work.

I was met with a moment of clarity and realised that although I hurt when it ended, my actions were having the same effect on others (and boy did I hear about it). In effect, the principles and values i clung to, became the opposite of what I became. It’s like being told by your parents if you pull funny faces long enough it’ll get stuck that way. except I’d became an insensitive monster by being hopelessly addicted to an idea that could never be.

You can’t change a person, but you can learn from experiences…

I decided that day the best thing i could do is to break the chain. I stopped meeting people until I knew that I had moved on and could finally achieve this preprogrammed expectation of life.

Funny thing though life, after a while comfort sets in and your faced with new challenges..

I find, currently, I’m very comfortable in my own company. I’ve probably became a little intolerant to the company of others and I’ve evolved into a person that lives for others happiness rather than my own.
So what’s my point already?

I don’t feel like I need someone to complete me. I don’t feel like my life needs to be validated in some preordained way so that I may die knowing that I met the expectations of the circle of life. We all grow based on our experiences and evolve in different ways. My journey is just as diverse as anyone elses. However, is there really such a thing as feeling complete?

It’s a question that I’m sure everyone lives with and one day we may find that answer. Hey, I’ll make a deal with you, if i ever find out I’ll let you know and you can do the same?

Deal!
K