Be Kind.

The end of a very overwhelming 2 weeks for me at work. And the fun(?) Is just beginning.
I’ve basically had a wonderful person at my store training to be a team leader for her brand new site in Coventry. It’s the first time I’ve had someone at the store for this type of thing and I feel like being trusted to prepare someone for their management career is a big responsibility.
I’m proud to say I gave it my full attention and it paid off, however I’ve probably left myself way behind on my own work hense the previous post…
I feel like I’ve put myself at risk in some ways, but getting messages of appreciation made it worth while. I have to say though, as much as I appreciate the messages, for some reason my mind won’t let me process it and I almost feel like I’m mentally rejecting the idea of it going well.
I think the last year in work I’ve kind of accepted that no matter how positive you try to make your impact, there’s always something you could do better, so it’s hard to take the positive and far too easy to dwell on what could have been done differently.
On realising this, I thought maybe writing this would help. By writing down it’s been successful and reading it back later might help me accept that something good came from a good intention. And I should allow myself to feel proud of that.
I feel like it’s important to say that I’m not a dark twisted individual, I’d maybe say I’m more a realist! Its easier to focus on the negative and takes alot for a person to mention a positive. I think it’s just part on the human condition.
It may use less muscles to smile, but gravity makes a frown way more comfortable!!! 🙂
K

Loose Ends.

Anyone else feel like they just can’t switch off on a night and prevents you from sleeping?
There’s been alot going on here for me. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s loose ends, or variables where I don’t know what’s going to happen or I don’t know what to do..
Essentially, when I’m unsure of the outcome, I get caught up trying to mentally process what I’m going to do about it and I really can’t switch off. Nightmare when I’m finding it’s 1am and I’m up for work at 3.30am.
I’m aware this could be seen as some sort of anxiety, but I’m not quite sure I’d put it down to that.

Once I found the answer to a small piece of a big puzzle yesterday, I slept like a log.
Wish me luck tonight!

The Butterfly Effect.

Every get that feeling that even the most pure of intentions can end up coming across really bad? Welcome to the club!
I was quite lucky today. I was a bit nervous about whether something i said was about to be perceived in a really bad way. Some people would call it being “two faced”. And no matter if this comes from a good place or not, you’re pretty much at the mercy to how it gets passed along the chain on whispers.
I was asked to do something which I knew wasn’t the right thing to do, i felt like I was in a bit of an awkward position I was being put in by being asked to do it. But it’s not common knowledge so it’s understandable that they didn’t know. 
I thought it best to clear it some some level of seniority over me. Cover my back, they’d say yes, and the fault isn’t really my own if it turned out to be the wrong thing to do.

Ever feel like your at the mercy of someone elses agenda?

It all seemed to be going wrong when I was told not to go ahead with the request and that words were to be had. 
Luckily, the measure of a person is understanding intentions in a person, and recognising when things have been manipulated beyond control. I’d say I learned my lesson, but what is the lesson here?
K

Failure is just a mind set.

Life can throw alot of challenges your way. It’s like your brain is wired to remember all the negative things in a part of your brain that allows it to skip the queue in front of anything positive. But taking the time to understand yourself could just about make you realise all isn’t as bad as it seems.
Don’t get me wrong.. we’ve all done some stuff which can’t just be written off that simple. And feeling like you’ve failed at something can be pretty bruising, especially if you feel like you had a point to make.
Queue new manager in a business. Looking to make his mark and make a difference in a world of negativity and a working environment that could only be represented in shades of grey. I’d like to think I was protective of people’s environment and feel like the energies I put into this would be pretty evident.
Stings when you feel like you’ve let someone down. But hey, that’s all part of growing. In my situation, after time and reflection, I realise I’m not letting anyone down, but why do I feel like I’m being put down? Some people can flip this off as jealousy or someone feeling threatened, but I’d like to think I’m my instance, it came from a positive place.
Some people see something in you, which makes them push you for more. That can have a pretty negative effect at times, but considering the reasons why can help you reclaim that little chip of confidence you’ve just lost. 
Feeling like a failure can set you back. Considering the bigger picture, and using it to drive you forward can be a powerful one.
Failure or not, in my case I’ll prove myself successful.
What about you? Will you back down, or will you rise to the challenge?
K

Work Life and Drawing the Line…

I find in this modern age of technology and contactibility, our culture has limited our sense of freedom. Work used to be a 9 till 5 experience, once finishing time came, you walked free of ties and were able to create clear distinctions and boundaries between work and home life. Fast forward to 2017, and our insatiable need to be as contactable as possible has created a leash around our necks. Where lines once were drawn, tethers and ties limit our freedom from drawing that line. In my line of work, I can sit at home and be constantly be harassed with endless forms off communication from work.

How can a person truly cleanse themselves of the pressures and stresses of work, when modern day work comes with this unwritten, yet inescapable expectation of maintaining a constantly open line of communication?

A view I can foresee before the publish button is even pressed is “why don’t you just mute the notifications?” and I can see that view has a point. However, regardless of whether we do this or not, the implied pressure of being part of this open line creates a new sense of anxiety and stress. Questions like “what if I miss out on something important?” “What if its serious?” “what if I’m expected to read this?” start to plague the mind. So I ask, What’s worse? leaving the line open, or the worry of closing that line? I’m sure I’ll never know, the lesser of two evils still results in consequence..