Every get that feeling that even the most pure of intentions can end up coming across really bad? Welcome to the club!
I was quite lucky today. I was a bit nervous about whether something i said was about to be perceived in a really bad way. Some people would call it being “two faced”. And no matter if this comes from a good place or not, you’re pretty much at the mercy to how it gets passed along the chain on whispers.
I was asked to do something which I knew wasn’t the right thing to do, i felt like I was in a bit of an awkward position I was being put in by being asked to do it. But it’s not common knowledge so it’s understandable that they didn’t know.
I thought it best to clear it some some level of seniority over me. Cover my back, they’d say yes, and the fault isn’t really my own if it turned out to be the wrong thing to do.
Ever feel like your at the mercy of someone elses agenda?
It all seemed to be going wrong when I was told not to go ahead with the request and that words were to be had.
Luckily, the measure of a person is understanding intentions in a person, and recognising when things have been manipulated beyond control. I’d say I learned my lesson, but what is the lesson here?
When confronted with an issue, it’s easy to just ignore it and hope it improves itself, but does this really help anything?
Working in a people focused environment, i can be met with many behaviours that arent, shall we say, ideal? Being a leader is the difference between what your going to do next…
It’s easy to let things slide for the sake of avoiding confrontation, but really, you can’t expect anything else but for this to happen again. This is a passive behaviour and you’ll never achieve a solution to the issue.
The key is being assertive, and approaching the issue in the right way. This is a skill that seems easy, but is a challenge you’ll always be faced with.
If your caught off guard, your mind naturally triggers a “flight or fight” mode. Meaning your going to react from the emotional part of the brain. The trick to flexing this behaviour, is to train your brain into a different way of thinking.
A handy format i use to train my brain into dealing with tough situations with ‘green line’s behaviours is using an annogram i like to call OFRR or “offer”.
This is a twist on a method of communication called “None Violent Communication.” It is a method that was developed in the 60’s and i find it a very effective tool.
I’ll be covering this more in a future post and i hope you will find this useful. 😀