Part of growing up is realising that change is inevitable. Being a child in school blissfully unaware of life’s responsibilities, it’s easy to think that your a being out of time.
“school will last forever”
“My friends are everything to me”
And as we move into adult life, we are really pushed beyond our comfort zone, suddenly this pressure to be self sustained an be pretty hard to digest because we have been protected from this reality.
Time goes by and you begin to meet new people, old friends start to fade and you realise some of these relationships you’ve formed have been a symptom of ease through surviving an environment together.
But can these Relationships really last?
In my previous post “Is it OK to be Single?” I pretty much covered that I was the type of guy who led with heart rather than head, so this lesson was a pretty tough one to learn for me…
throughout education, its easy to make friends, I was lucky enough to retain some friends from School and make many more in college. Throughout all by romance drama, I fell pretty reliant on friends and found after a while I almost began to live my life vicariously through them. It wasn’t a case of making plans together, it turned into “I have plans, you want to tag along?”
This didn’t really make much of a difference to me, I was still going out and having a great time and getting out to see people, so I carried on life this for a number of years.
Now Here’s the Tricky Part..
Where this became a problem and I had my moment of clarity, was when these people started to pair off and have kids, their priorities and responsibilities changed. Being someone completely happy to go with the flow of everyone else’s life, this was a pretty tough experience. The slight shifts in priorities I found pretty cutting as I started to realise I was walking outside the boundaries of my own existence.
The lesson I leant (and am still learning to this day!) Is that you have to live for yourself. Your priority is YOU. It can be hard being a single person making decisions that can sometimes be isolating but its a journey we all have to take. I realised if I carried on, I’d realise years down the road that I had nothing to show for my life. I was no ones ‘number one’ and the priority I gave everyone around me wasn’t reciprocated.
This is a life lesson I’m still trying to navigate. I’m really happy to be able to say I do have friends who have been with me since the beginning of School. But my flexing of personality style from emotional to Logical is something that isn’t natural to me, so at times I find I’m re-learning lessons that were tough to digest.
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