In life, the people you meet are raised with certain expectations. Marriage, babies, happy families, we all have this programmed into us.
Whether it’s in the movies we watch, the people we know, there are many factors that contribute to this…
As a single mid twenties individual I’ve experienced many things. Love, loss, these all come part an parcel in a person’s existence. I’m not special, rather the opposite, so what makes me different to others? Dammed if i know.
Now, the question all single people loathe to hear, but is probably the most loaded innocent question one can ask.
So.. hows the love life going? You met anyone yet??
Although this question can be the bane of a person’s existence, it’s an inevitability that we are sure to face.
Throughout my life, I’ve made choices. Some bad, some good (haven’t we all?). One of these I made was to remain single.
After a string of relationships, i decided I’d had enough. It started when i met what I thought was the first and the last love I’d meet.
Naturally, as with first loves, these are more than likely to result in a breakup, but hey-ho what can I say? I led with my heart and not my head.
After this, I found no issue with finding new partners and moving on at face value. However, this initial infatuation with my Disney style “prince charming” became a factor that always resulted in disaster. I would meet someone new, the original would turn back up after being bored of being let off the leash and I would convince myself that this time it would work.
I was met with a moment of clarity and realised that although I hurt when it ended, my actions were having the same effect on others (and boy did I hear about it). In effect, the principles and values i clung to, became the opposite of what I became. It’s like being told by your parents if you pull funny faces long enough it’ll get stuck that way. except I’d became an insensitive monster by being hopelessly addicted to an idea that could never be.
You can’t change a person, but you can learn from experiences…
I decided that day the best thing i could do is to break the chain. I stopped meeting people until I knew that I had moved on and could finally achieve this preprogrammed expectation of life.
Funny thing though life, after a while comfort sets in and your faced with new challenges..
I find, currently, I’m very comfortable in my own company. I’ve probably became a little intolerant to the company of others and I’ve evolved into a person that lives for others happiness rather than my own.
So what’s my point already?
I don’t feel like I need someone to complete me. I don’t feel like my life needs to be validated in some preordained way so that I may die knowing that I met the expectations of the circle of life. We all grow based on our experiences and evolve in different ways. My journey is just as diverse as anyone elses. However, is there really such a thing as feeling complete?
It’s a question that I’m sure everyone lives with and one day we may find that answer. Hey, I’ll make a deal with you, if i ever find out I’ll let you know and you can do the same?