Waiting for selflessness

When at work, I try to do my best for people. Fairness is my game. I treat people with respect and id hope people understand that id rather take on all the burden so that no one else has to. 
Of course I don’t want to, you’d have to be crazy to want to, but it’s kind of like a leap of faith and an interesting way to see if people will respect you enough to offer to share the burden with you. 
My “second in command” is a bit selfish in my opinion. I get a lot of complaints about his laziness and I see that he is uninterested in others and supporting a positive working environment. But it’s good to have faith in people right? 

There’s having faith in someone, and then theirs blind faith…

Essentially, cutting to the chase of it. He is moving to another store and is in limbo for 2 months to twiddle his thumbs however he pleases until this store opens. So when I make it perfectly clear that we could use his support due to understaffing, I’d expect a good natured person to offer to help. Totally flabbergasted when he basically says no.
So here we go. I try to take it all on myself, rotas myself in for the next 14 days straight cause I wouldn’t expect anyone to lose a day off their entitled to. 
I’d really shakes my faith in people when a person is really struggling and they can choose to ignore and carry on planning to do nothing but sip tea and play candy crush for two months.
I hope he never has to read this, but at the same time, I hope he realises that he has completely failed as a human being in my books. 
Is it natural to feel that when the shoe is on the other foot, karma would be a bitch?
Who am I kidding? If I’m crazy enough to take on all the workload for the sake of everyone else, I’d probably do it in a heartbeat.
At least if I did, I’d walk away knowing that Im a better person than him… Or am I just gullible?


Be Kind.

The end of a very overwhelming 2 weeks for me at work. And the fun(?) Is just beginning.
I’ve basically had a wonderful person at my store training to be a team leader for her brand new site in Coventry. It’s the first time I’ve had someone at the store for this type of thing and I feel like being trusted to prepare someone for their management career is a big responsibility.
I’m proud to say I gave it my full attention and it paid off, however I’ve probably left myself way behind on my own work hense the previous post…
I feel like I’ve put myself at risk in some ways, but getting messages of appreciation made it worth while. I have to say though, as much as I appreciate the messages, for some reason my mind won’t let me process it and I almost feel like I’m mentally rejecting the idea of it going well.
I think the last year in work I’ve kind of accepted that no matter how positive you try to make your impact, there’s always something you could do better, so it’s hard to take the positive and far too easy to dwell on what could have been done differently.
On realising this, I thought maybe writing this would help. By writing down it’s been successful and reading it back later might help me accept that something good came from a good intention. And I should allow myself to feel proud of that.
I feel like it’s important to say that I’m not a dark twisted individual, I’d maybe say I’m more a realist! Its easier to focus on the negative and takes alot for a person to mention a positive. I think it’s just part on the human condition.
It may use less muscles to smile, but gravity makes a frown way more comfortable!!! 🙂

Loose Ends.

Anyone else feel like they just can’t switch off on a night and prevents you from sleeping?
There’s been alot going on here for me. If there’s one thing I hate, it’s loose ends, or variables where I don’t know what’s going to happen or I don’t know what to do..
Essentially, when I’m unsure of the outcome, I get caught up trying to mentally process what I’m going to do about it and I really can’t switch off. Nightmare when I’m finding it’s 1am and I’m up for work at 3.30am.
I’m aware this could be seen as some sort of anxiety, but I’m not quite sure I’d put it down to that.

Once I found the answer to a small piece of a big puzzle yesterday, I slept like a log.
Wish me luck tonight!

The Butterfly Effect.

Every get that feeling that even the most pure of intentions can end up coming across really bad? Welcome to the club!
I was quite lucky today. I was a bit nervous about whether something i said was about to be perceived in a really bad way. Some people would call it being “two faced”. And no matter if this comes from a good place or not, you’re pretty much at the mercy to how it gets passed along the chain on whispers.
I was asked to do something which I knew wasn’t the right thing to do, i felt like I was in a bit of an awkward position I was being put in by being asked to do it. But it’s not common knowledge so it’s understandable that they didn’t know. 
I thought it best to clear it some some level of seniority over me. Cover my back, they’d say yes, and the fault isn’t really my own if it turned out to be the wrong thing to do.

Ever feel like your at the mercy of someone elses agenda?

It all seemed to be going wrong when I was told not to go ahead with the request and that words were to be had. 
Luckily, the measure of a person is understanding intentions in a person, and recognising when things have been manipulated beyond control. I’d say I learned my lesson, but what is the lesson here?

Failure is just a mind set.

Life can throw alot of challenges your way. It’s like your brain is wired to remember all the negative things in a part of your brain that allows it to skip the queue in front of anything positive. But taking the time to understand yourself could just about make you realise all isn’t as bad as it seems.
Don’t get me wrong.. we’ve all done some stuff which can’t just be written off that simple. And feeling like you’ve failed at something can be pretty bruising, especially if you feel like you had a point to make.
Queue new manager in a business. Looking to make his mark and make a difference in a world of negativity and a working environment that could only be represented in shades of grey. I’d like to think I was protective of people’s environment and feel like the energies I put into this would be pretty evident.
Stings when you feel like you’ve let someone down. But hey, that’s all part of growing. In my situation, after time and reflection, I realise I’m not letting anyone down, but why do I feel like I’m being put down? Some people can flip this off as jealousy or someone feeling threatened, but I’d like to think I’m my instance, it came from a positive place.
Some people see something in you, which makes them push you for more. That can have a pretty negative effect at times, but considering the reasons why can help you reclaim that little chip of confidence you’ve just lost. 
Feeling like a failure can set you back. Considering the bigger picture, and using it to drive you forward can be a powerful one.
Failure or not, in my case I’ll prove myself successful.
What about you? Will you back down, or will you rise to the challenge?

That Art of Bring Genuine.

We’ve all encountered it. That person that seems to have many faces and you’re not sure which is the real one. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out if someone is being genuine or showing you one side of a coin. 
When i meet people, 99% of the time I will take them at face value. I’m very giving of trust and would like to expect the same from others. But this does come at a cost.
I would like to consider myself an open, honest person. There isn’t alot to know about me, but what you do know, is all of it. No secrets, no hidden agenda. My motto, treat people how you would like to be treat yourself.
By putting myself in this position though, I’m pretty much running the risk of probably being really hurt or feeling betrayed, this vulnerable position can prompt some pretty dramatic responses at first, but that’s me, who I am, I have this kinda instant friend policy going on. 
So why is it people choose to with hold themselves?

My opinion is nothing really sinister, people learn and grow in different ways. Maybe people with hold these things to prevent themselves from being vulnerable. Maybe they lack confidence? 
For now I’ll keep trying to be understanding of this, but I’m unwavering in my stance. Be it to my own demise, you meet me, I’ll give you my trust. Just prove me right by proving your trust worthy ok? 


Communicating in a ‘None Violent’ Way

Continuing from my previous blog , I’d like to go more into depth about a communication method that tends to stick with me to avoid “red behaviours”

This can work when giving feedback to a person, and helps you stop and rethink your approach to a ‘fight or flight’ moment when communicating to people..

OFRR some feedback

  • Observation
  • Feeling
  • Reason
  • Requirement 

    It seems like quite an obvious format, but in tense situations it can be difficult to fight the urge to react with emotional behaviours.

    Observation, to state the obvious, is to observe and state the reason for the feedback. “Ive noticed you seem to be feeling pretty annoyed about what’s happened. 

    Feeling – basically this can be used in two ways. How does this make you feel? Or how does this make them feel. A word of warning is to keep this a two way conversation so it’s best to use this as part of an open conversation and give them the opportunity to talk and for you to listen. 

    Reason – in response to the ‘feeling’, this can be used as a tool to support your reasons for feeling, or to continue to explore the other person’s reasons for feeling this way. Again, this is about a two way conversation so it’s best to match fit dependant on the situation.

    Requirement – this involves a bit of straight talking. E.g. “i think it’s best if you take a step away from the (event) and you’ll probably feel different about it later. Straight talking is probably the trickiest part as doing this without recognising people’s triggers and snaps could fuel an emotional response. I’ll cover triggers and snaps in another blog. 


    “I noticed you’re not reacting well to this news. What is it specifically that’s upsetting you?”

    … Listening…

    “I can understand your reasons for feeling this way and i think it’s important that we take you away from this situation so you can take a moment and reflect”

    I’ll cover some more handy tricks and tips in future blogs around this subject. It’s important that you use the correct language and not trigger anyone’s snaps and understand different personality types in the way you approach a situation

    I hope this has been useful and I’d welcome any feedback if you give this method a try